Thank you and Good Night!

johannesburg-venues-cityscape1.jpg

Last day in the Big City before the world tour begins.

Its been a brilliant weekend which work colleagues and good friends (not necessarily mutually exclusive) made an incredible effort to let me know what I meant to them and how much I’d be missed. Its all very warm and fuzzy. There are a few people particularly that I really really don’t want to leave behind.

Thank you all guys, its been incredible, catch you on the other side of the world.

This excerpt from the Uncyclopedia for your breakfast amusement:

Johannesburg

Warning: This article is “kak“, reading it may result in hijacking, contracting HIV, or being run over by a minibus taxi.

The author in no way claims responsibility for your life.Please take a showeruse a condom, and don’t pet the dog.

Johannesburg is a large city in Gauteng, South Africa. It is mainly inhabited by blacks, 98.8% of which are extremely violent.The city is usually considered the most dangerous in the world. Notable areas where you’re guaranteed to die, whether you’re white, black, yellow or brown, are: Hillbrow, Soweto and the CBD of Johannesburg.

Residents of Johannesburg are usually fun loving people who like to play a game of “Pulse?”, “Where’s my car?”.

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6 Responses to “Thank you and Good Night!”

  1. Champagne Heathen Says:

    Gonna miss you this side, you gorgeous man!!

    Lick a tree frog for me. I think. Hmmm. You try one out for youself first. If all goes very well, then try one out for me.

    Sad Melacholy Smoooooooches!!

  2. Mr Memetic Says:

    98% are violent???

    Um, that’s not even an exageration (sp) that is however extremely offensive.

    I’d hazard a guess that out of the black population, AT MOST 20 % are violent.

    Of course that’s not taking into account the percentage, fend up with crime, being raped, having their daughters raped, etc, who lynch mob (we call it necklacing here) suspected criminals.

    Which is a pity because while some were caught in the act, there have been clear cases of mistaken identity.

    We live in a version of the Wild West, with Three Economies, the White dominated Ecomony, the Shadow Market where no one actually gets physically hurt (piracy for example) and the Criminal Trade, where many of the criminals are not even South African born.

    I will concede the ANC sucks. And they suck BIG TIME. Thinking they’re entitled to 4 5 even 7 (my maths skills were always crap) million bucks of money they earn by spending 10 minutes in parlimient (sp) (and that was an example of an exageration in case anyone couldn’t tell because of my krap spelling)?

    Well fuck them. They suffered during Apartheid? How? They were busy siphoning millions from donators to the Cause, while many of their foot soldiers starved in the camps. I’m also pretty sure there were other non-ANC liberation groups. Many of ’em. None fought each other. But many were involved in fights with the ANC. Funny how that turned out?

    Fuck them in the ear, those corrupt, cynical motherfuckers aren’t what give this country hope, what gives me hope. It’s the ordinary people. It’s the black people I see daily, who I chat to, make conversation with, who despite large cultural divides make a connection with me, who actually care, who’ve helped me when I’ve been lost in some unfamiliar part of JHB, or simply gone out of their way to help me, a white man, get by.

    They, who suffered under the white man in Apartheid South Africa, they are the ones who help me to find the faith I need to believe in this country.

    Oh, and did I mention the ANC can go and fuck themselves?

    The sooner the better.

  3. Dean James Says:

    For once, I’m in complete agreement with Mr Memetic.

  4. dazz Says:

    Geez Mr M, get your own blog.

    Make it about the end of the world. Or something.

  5. Mr Memetic Says:

    Hmmm. Maybe the Sun is going nova, and the only hope left is a swords master, wait! A swords saint! I can see it now…

    “In a Time of Despair…

    In a Time of Death…

    In a Time of Destruction…

    One Man is the Only Shard of Hope Left…”

    Cue big Japanese Drums, and some dodgy sci-fi…

  6. Mr Memetic Says:

    “Dude, where’s this dude’s blog?”

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