Archive for the ‘General’ Category

The Green Lantern – Movie Trailer

November 17, 2010

GeekGasm? I did.

Not to be confused with the Green Hornet. Who fights retro crime. With an eye mask and a 1960s Chrysler Imperial. (More here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5PqclBsCHo). The Green Lantern fights interstellar crime. With a ring. And space ships.

Here ends the lesson.

Mumford & Sons – The Cave

November 17, 2010

We, heard you were looking for these…

Magical music, enchanting video. Thank you Mumford & Sons. Because I too have other things to fill my time. And I doubt that the truth will refresh my broken mind. But I would dearly love your insights on how to live my life as it’s meant to be.

Thank you and Good Night!

April 1, 2007

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Last day in the Big City before the world tour begins.

Its been a brilliant weekend which work colleagues and good friends (not necessarily mutually exclusive) made an incredible effort to let me know what I meant to them and how much I’d be missed. Its all very warm and fuzzy. There are a few people particularly that I really really don’t want to leave behind.

Thank you all guys, its been incredible, catch you on the other side of the world.

This excerpt from the Uncyclopedia for your breakfast amusement:

Johannesburg

Warning: This article is “kak“, reading it may result in hijacking, contracting HIV, or being run over by a minibus taxi.

The author in no way claims responsibility for your life.Please take a showeruse a condom, and don’t pet the dog.

Johannesburg is a large city in Gauteng, South Africa. It is mainly inhabited by blacks, 98.8% of which are extremely violent.The city is usually considered the most dangerous in the world. Notable areas where you’re guaranteed to die, whether you’re white, black, yellow or brown, are: Hillbrow, Soweto and the CBD of Johannesburg.

Residents of Johannesburg are usually fun loving people who like to play a game of “Pulse?”, “Where’s my car?”.

Google Makes Me Laugh

April 1, 2007

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In their usual manner, Google have used April Fool’s day this year to terrific effect!

A note on the homepage points you to a link touting “New! Get FREE breakthrough broadband with Google TiSP (BETA)“.

On the clicking the link you find yourself reading about the benefits and endless possibilities of using Google’s new and completely free in-home wireless broadband service. Sign up today, Google unashamedly promises, and they’ll send you the requisite self-installation kit, which includes setup guide, fiber-optic cable, spindle, wireless router and installation CD.

And how do they keep it free?

…to offset the cost of providing the TiSP service, we use information gathered by discreet DNA sequencing of your personal bodily output to display online ads that are contextually relevant to your culinary preferences, current health status and likelihood of developing particular medical conditions going forward..

Genius! And the required specs to run Google’s TiSP?

Windows XP/Vista (Mac and Linux support coming soon)

Internet Explorer 6.0+ or Firefox 1.5+ with the Google Toolbar

Round-front or elongated toilet providing at least 1.0 gallons per flush

Use of automatic toilet bowl cleaners is not recommended

Of course Google like to use the day to good effect and have been known to alternate between April Fools jokes and the bona fide release of new products, just to keep us guessing…

It also appears that the little pranksters have undertaken to allow users of Google’s free webmail service to add e-mails to a “Paper Archive” which Google would print on “96% post-consumer organic soybean sputum” and mail via traditional post. The service would be free, supported by bold, red advertisements printed on the back of the printed messages. Image attachments would also be printed on high-quality glossy paper and be postmarked with their message!

Beauty is a Beautiful Thing

March 29, 2007

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You know you want it.

 

Honey, I’m home!

March 29, 2007

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Apologies, readers (helloo? anyone out there?) for how remiss I’ve been lately. All the neglect has me feeling as guilty as a Catholic. And I’m Jewish, so its all a little crazy right now.

The trial turned into an Arbitration and our 5 day estimation on the leading of evidence turned into 10 days. But of course I board the beast (if you know what I mean…) in the not to distant future and make my way over to frog-filled forests so such things will need to continue without me.

Some entertainment and the occasional update to follow.

The Ten Year Rule?

March 29, 2007

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A man is dead.

A man who’s influence over the sporting world spread far and wide – from his marginal success as an English cricketer, to his resounding successes with the South African cricket side (well resounding is perhaps a little strong – his team were by far the best one day international side in the arena of the time, but they couldn’t get a world cup win in the bag), not to mention his controversial views on ball tampering

And so, there is only really one thing left to do: make terrible jokes at his demise. Without further ado:

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“It’s official – the Pakis are real chokers…”

“Pakistan may not have won the cricket – but they’ll win the Bobslay…”

Well that last one, as The Man pointed out to me over the naweek, is more of an aural quip.

More as they occur.

Its So Sexy

March 23, 2007

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Random sweetness to improve your day.

And my trial is going great (thanks for asking). The Claimant’s lead witnesses has kicked off. In Afrikaans. Fucker. How the hell am I supposed to be canny and cunning in a language I only barely understand? I had to pass high-school Afrikaans by making up books to do “book reviews” on. If only my teacher knew – I could have had a book deal.

The reason for the new Audi R8 pic? My boss has it on pre-order and just received this email

From: The Audi Team [mailto:auditeam@lsaker.ih.co.za]
Sent: 23 March 2007 09:00 AM
To: (My Law Firm Inc.) The Bossman
Subject: R8 letter

Dear Mr. Dazz’ Boss

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for placing an order for the new Audi R8 with Lindsay Saker Audi.

Audi Centre Sandton is the sole Audi R8 franchise holder for the Lindsay Saker group and therefore we will be responsible for the delivery of your new Audi R8.

Audi SA are in possession of all Audi R8 orders placed in South Africa and they will be contacting you with more information.

South Africa is scheduled to receive a limited volume of Audi R8’s during the last quarter of 2007. Once we have received our allocation of vehicles and a list of available options from Audi SA, we will contact you to determine your requirements.

Kind Regards,

Mr. Some Guy      Ms. Some Chick
General Manager  Sales Manager

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The only thing to think about now is whether to sink serious money into four wheels or the college funds. Hey, you can’t take it with you! Although some have tried

 

Myths Busted

March 13, 2007

 

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Don’t you hate those startling realisations, epiphanies if you will, that really fuck with the way you have always perceived and understood the world? Like when you found out for the first time that Aerosmith weren’t actually singing “do the lucky lady” or when you were laughed at for thinking that Credence Clearwater Revival were telling you that “there’s a bathroom on the right“.

I stumbled across this exciting page the other day, that sets out to show that everything you’ve ever known and trusted about the world (thanks to Mikey and Steve in Grade 2) is in fact wrong.

Its bloody terrific!

Of course some of the espoused facts could only be believed by a complete moron but some of them really surprised me. I mean I thought that the fact that men thought about sex every seven seconds was scientific gospel, but no:

Males are driven to reproduce, evolutionarily speaking, but there is no scientific way of measuring to what extent that desire consumes their everyday lives. Thankfully, for world productivity as a whole, seven seconds seems a gross overstatement, as best researchers can tell.

And how about this absolute shocker (apologies in advance…). I bet that you always thought that lightning never struck the same place twice. Haha, in fact:

Lightning favours certain spots, particularly high locations. The Empire State Building is struck about 25 times every year. Ben Franklin grasped the concept long ago and mounted a metal rod atop the roof of his home, then ran a wire to the ground, thereby inventing the lightning rod.

I know, I know, its difficult to deal with all at once. But the coup de grâce for me was this little gem:

It takes seven years to digest gum?

While it may prove a bit more difficult to break down than organic foodstuffs, chewing gum gets no special treatment from the digestive system. Doctors figure this old wives’ tale was invented to prevent kids from swallowing the rubbery substance.

It may also surprise you to know that the Great Wall of China is not the only man-made structure visible from space, humans use more than 10% of their brains (well, some of them anyway) and water drains either way down a sink, depending on the sink’s structure not its location relative to the equator.

Well here’s to hoping that a dynamically shifting world view engenders growth and wisdom and not a one way ticket to Insaneville, Idaho.

My New “Girlfriend”

March 13, 2007

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Well team, I’d like to introduce you to the newest addition to my bedroom.

I figure that if I have to sleep alone, I might as well look good doing it, right?